When treating this bullied child, therapists work on their social skills and awareness. Often they are not even aware that some of their behaviors are seen as inappropriate or may bring unwelcome attention. Kerry takes medication for ADHD and has seen therapists for more than a decade. But she made little progress until recently, when she began to work with the Child Study Center as part of a clinical trial examining the efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy CBT for irritability and behavior problems, including bullying.
In addition to weekly counseling sessions, Kerry can call the Child Study Center for support or if questions or problems arise. Several months into the program, Kerry is learning to contain her temper, her mom says, and she interacts in more socially acceptable ways with her peers.
In the context of bullying, we set specific goals and, with the help of the parents, work on strategies to help the kids learn how to manage their anger and aggression. Furthermore, we address social skills, and things that happened before, during and after a specific incident and talk about what can be done to improve the situation.
Many of the children who may act as bullies have long histories of disruptive behavior, experts say, which are often rooted in difficulties in their lives or mental health challenges such as ADHD.
The goal is to help children and teens become aware not only of what sets off their behaviors but also to predict what happens afterward—a strategy that leads to making better choices. This affects productivity, focus, emotional stability, and it becomes impossible for someone to survive in an environment like this for long. In reply, the boss threatens to fire him or deny him a promotion.
Often, people do not have any redressal when they are caught in a situation like this because the power of the superior is too immense and one has a lot to lose. The choice is between doing a menial task which might be beneath your capability or even morally wrong and completely endangering your professional career. Sometimes the act may be even more severe. There have been cases all around the world where bosses have asked female employees for sexual favours in return for a promotion or a pay raise.
After the coming up of the Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace Act , these cases are better governed. But just because a legal provision exists, does not mean that it is successful in deterring violations.
What needs to be considered is that the majority of Sexual Harassment cases are not reported due to the imbalance of power and coercion and blackmailing by people in positions of authority. What ensures the continuance of such bullying is the fact that it occurs in private corporate spaces and there is no external authority governing nor is there a proper redressal or complaint system within the corporation.
Therefore, to resolve these issues, there needs to be increased accountability of people in positions of power even in private spaces. There also needs to be a shift in the attitude of society towards mistreatment of employees.
There is a general consensus among the corporate workforce that to get ahead in any profession, you need to be a boot-licking sycophant and be ready to do any and everything for your superiors. This breeds a sense of dissatisfaction in the employee and he is alienated from the world.
This is a more passive form of oppression in the workplace. There is no law which deals directly with bullying in the workplace but there are other laws which regulate behaviour of individuals in a work environment. There are many labour laws which ensure a certain level of social security and the maintenance of the dignity of an individual at the workplace.
There also exists the Sexual Harassment of Women at Workplace Act which establishes strict legal sanction on any incident of harassment of women, be it physical, verbal or mental in nature. It also places strict measures on inappropriate behaviour in the workplace and has gone a long way to ensure the safety of working women in the country.
Verbal bullying may include personal insults, slurs or name calling on the basis of racial or ethnic backgrounds, or even homophobic or sexually coloured remarks. Verbal bullying is one of the most common forms of bullying and can lead to a lot of mental trauma in the victim and impair his social life.
What needs to be understood is that words have a lot of power. Words work in an insidious way, slowly but surely, when a person is subjected to constant verbal abuse, their self image gets destroyed and their self esteem becomes low. The harm is primarily psychological, where constant insults and bullying makes a person feel hopelessly alone, and they start resenting the world and the people around them. This resentment grows and festers, and can come out in a lot of ways.
Some people turn to self harm or start displaying suicidal tendencies. Others lash out violently towards others in their life, be it their family, their closest friends or their loved ones. Their emotional stability is affected and they become perpetually on edge and anxious. This psychological harm can manifest in physical harm as well, as many mentally disturbed and emotionally unstable people turn to intoxicants and other chemical inhibitors to cope with their predicament.
Alcohol, marijuana related products, even hard drugs like cocaine and heroin pose grave dangers to the physicality of a person. An example of verbal bullying in schools could be calling a less sporty or physically inclined person a wimp or a nerd, and other derogatory insults which affect the self worth and esteem of a person.
Often,children find themselves incapable of tackling a situation where they are cornered and bullied on a regular basis. How can parents help their children tackle verbal bullying?
Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching and pushing or damaging property. Physical bullying causes both short term and long term damage. This is the most primal expression of power, that is, physically harming someone. This sort of abuse, apart from causing injury also leads to low self esteem and a loss of confidence in the victim of such a heinous act. A distinction needs to be made between an act of violence and physical bullying.
Bullying occurs when the same person is victimized repeatedly. There also needs to be an intention to hurt, intimidate, control or dominate the other party.
Another prerequisite of bullying is that there needs to exist a real or perceived imbalance of power, arising out of brute physical capability of the oppressor or his higher social standing. Middle school is the time when physical bullying really starts to take shape. This is the time when children start becoming socially active,start getting affected by their peers and start forming strong friendships with each other.
This is also the time children start to develop serious hostility towards each other which may sometimes take the form of violence or bullying. Physical bullying almost predominantly happens among male children. Boys tend to be more physically promiscuous and are likely to show violent behaviour.
Students who bully others are often lacking in qualities like compassion, empathy and respect. If they are not controlled and socialized properly, then these tendencies can mutate into something more serious and sinister, like criminal behaviour when they are adults.
Often, students suffering from physical bullying recede into themselves and do not open up, even to their families or loved ones. Following are some signs that your ward may be suffering from physical bullying:.
This is a more covert and subtle kind of bullying but one which may isolate a person even more than other forms of bullying. This occurs when there is a concerted effort on the part of people in the social vicinity of an individual to ridicule, insult, or try to destroy the reputation of a person.
An individual caught in such a scenario often sees no way out of his predicament, but there are some ways you can tackle this difficult situation:. A study led by Microsoft Corporation in , spread over 25 nations positioned India third in the quantity of internet cyberbullying cases. Cyber bullying can be overt or indirect. It utilizes computerized advancements, including equipment, for example, PCs and cell phones, and programming, for example, internet based life, texting, writings, sites and other online stages.
Cyber bullying is sometimes seen as a less harmful form of bullying which exists online and does not manifest itself physically in the world. This is a problematic opinion. Cyberbullying can be intimidating, dangerous, invasive and very real to the people who go through it. The digitization of our daily lives has led us to be dependant on our phones, and most of our friendships and relationships are dependant on our phones. Therefore, cyber bullying is a grave concern in contemporary times.
Cyber bullying can occur whenever. It can occur in public or in private and once in a while just known to the objective and the individual bullying. Cyber bullying can include:. Questions arise about the danger social media websites pose to the privacy of people.
For the most part, this occurs with not well-secured accounts, similar to the ones with a straightforward password. This is normally joined with hacking, and it implies that somebody is professing to be you, either hacking and utilizing your record, or making a phony one.
This form of aggression may result in long-term psychological harm to victims. Research has found that although such aggression is prevalent among both genders, it is more apparent and deliberate in females. At the preschool level, relational hostility is probably going to come as continuous threats about what another girl needs to do to keep up a friendship. On the off chance that these dangers happen day by day and even on different occasions multi day , the tyke goes too far from a social abilities mistake to harassing in an undercover, relational manner.
Girls can experience low confidence, side effects of anxiety and depression, fear of going to class, they might even decline to go to class, and inescapable dejection because of relational hostility. At times, girls may have self-destructive musings.
In the event that you presume that your little girl is liable to relational animosity, escape. Bullying can occur in a lot of different scenarios and situations. These are a few examples:. The Raghavan Committee was set by the Human Resource Development ministry on the direction of the Supreme Court of India and it submitted its report in The committee studies hundreds of cases and incidents of ragging as part of its deliberations, and not even in one of the instances, had the college authorities approached the police or local authorities even in the most extreme of cases which involved bodily harm or death of a student.
In most cases, the complaint was filed by the parents of the victim and there was no involvement of the college authorities. Overall, after hearing the testimony of various parents and students, the committee observed that the response of colleges to cases of ragging has been dismal, prompt action has not been taken and no attempt has been made, in any incident whatsoever, to approach the law and order machinery to seek justice for the victims and punish the wrongdoer.
The committee observes that there is a pertinent need to make colleges more accountable for the acts of ragging that take place inside them and make them more sensitized to the issue of ragging. The committee also observed that there were little to no initiatives taken up by the wider society to increase the awareness about ragging. Societal indifference is prevalent in India as there is a general view among people that ragging is just a part of college.
Even when extreme cases come to light, in which students lose their lives or commit suicide, society still remains complacent to the menace that is ragging.
The committee observes that without enough societal involvement, educational institutions alone cannot rid the higher education system of the menace of ragging.
There needs to be a paradigm shift in the thinking of people when it comes to ragging. The committee observed that in recent years, due to the expansion of capacity in colleges, especially engineering colleges, has led to the rise of off campus lodgings for students. A lot of severe and heinous forms of ragging occur in these off campus hostels, where there is no external authority regulating behaviour.
These lodgings are unknown both to the college administrations as well as the local police. The committee observes that it is of no material whether a person resides in campus or not. Authorities, both the college administration as well as the local police hold as much responsibility towards a student staying off campus as one staying in it, and it holds the colleges accountable for any act of ragging, regardless of where and in what capacity it occurs.
The committee observes that a lot of incidents of ragging are prevented in college campuses because of the communication facilitated by mobile phones.
Students use their mobile phones to call someone for help, maybe a peer, a friend or even family. The use of phones can also allow students to utilize the helpline discussed earlier against ragging and therefore get prompt redressal and justice for the wrong that they have undergone.
The committee asserts that the banning of phones in various institutions, on account of it being a distraction and a nuisance, is not practical and is a bit far fetched.
The committee wants to allow the use of mobile phones so as to allow students to communicate and seek help for whatever it may be that they are going through. The committee observed that there is a complete lack of professional counsellors in higher education institutions, which leads to students going unprepared into an alien social scenarios and often finding themselves lost and becoming a victim of violent behaviour or bullying and ragging.
There needs to be professional counselling at the start of every academic session to help freshers initiate into a new social environment, and arm them with some tactics to face any potential ragging they might experience and what steps to take if they do.
Counselling is not just for victims or potential victims but also for potential or repeat raggers. If a person is a known ragger and has already been punished before, he should receive consistent counselling to dissuade him from his behaviour. Teachers, administrative staff, wardens etc. It was promptly brought to the notice of the committee that in remote territories, wards of compelling families associated with political parties, local administration, exchange and business, land-owning classes and other power first class enjoyed most disgraceful demonstrations of ragging and escaped without any penalty.
The Committee was informed that partners cutting crosswise over areas- institutional specialists, workforce, senior understudies, the administration, the common expert, non-showing staff and so on- can control or avoid ragging through a coordinated exertion. The Committee was likewise informed that even as it should be an aggregate duty, a noteworthy offer of such obligation should lay on the leader of the establishment.
The advisory group likewise seen that the specialists of the State and the Central Governments capable for executing and checking the counter ragging arrangements had not carried out their responsibility agreeably. The Committee thinks about that the instructive and academic condition in grounds did not support exercises wherein the understudies can connect with themselves in scholarly, social and physically and socially important interests.
The explanation behind this situation must be found mostly in the declining designation of money related assets to schools and colleges throughout the years bringing about the close nonappearance of booked additional curricular and co-curricular exercises. Please stop spreading ignorance and if you do not like the article, do not read it. It takes empathy to realize everyone's lives are different from your own. That's not the point, you can't show your kids that revenge is the way to go.
The one thing you didn't mention was what happens when a girl starts to bully a boy because she knows she can and won't face the same response as what "Could" happen if it were a boy to boy confrontation?
Multiple issues are a factor when this happens, the boy doesn't know how to react. With a boy to boy intimidation could work, telling on his could work, just about everything you stated above could work, but do you think that boy will tell ANYONE if he is being bullied by a girl? Probably not. If that boy is teased enough when she knows she can keep doing it and he flips out and does something violent, guess who gets into all the trouble?
The boy. I've seen this time, and time again over the last 30 years. Perhaps people should start having this conversation in a world struggling for equal rights among the sexes. This is completely ridiculous! How about putting all the bullies in one room by themeselves instead of keeping them with the other kids?
There should be a mandetory class for all kids on anti-bullying and how to treat people. Too many teachers, parents, and educators turn a blind eye to the reality and gravity of what bullying can do even when you see all of the tragic cases out there.
The problem in this society that has been a problem for more than 60 years and it just keeps getting worse by the minute. Save Pin FB More. Credit: Illustration by Emma Darvick. The first step to dealing with bullies is knowing when your child is a victim. Don't let a bully make you feel bad.
When someone says something bad about you, say something positive to yourself. Remind yourself of your positive attributes. Tell the bully how you feel , why you feel the way you do, and what you want the bully to do. Learn to do this with a calm and determined voice. Say, for example, "I feel angry when you call me names because I have a real name.
I want you to start calling me by my real name. The bully wants to hurt your feelings, so act like his name-calling and taunts don't hurt. You can do this by admitting the bully is right. For example, when the bully calls you "fatty," look him in the eye and say calmly, "You know, I do need to start getting more exercise. Disarm the bully with humor. Laugh at his threats and walk away from him. Let your child know that bullying is not OK and can bring serious consequences at home, school, and in the community if it continues.
Try to understand the reasons behind your child's behavior. In some cases, kids bully because they have trouble managing strong emotions like anger, frustration, or insecurity. In other cases, kids haven't learned cooperative ways to work out conflicts and understand differences.
It's natural — and common — for kids to fight with their siblings at home. And unless there's a risk of physical violence, it's wise not to get involved. But keep an eye on the name-calling and fighting, and talk to each child regularly about what's acceptable and what's not. Keep your own behavior in check too.
Think about how you talk around your kids and how you handle conflict and problems. If you behave aggressively — toward or in front of your kids — chances are they'll follow your example. Instead, point out positives in others, not negatives. When conflicts arise in your own life, be open about your frustration and how you cope with your feelings. There will be situations that need discipline and helpful criticism.
But don't let that slip into name-calling and accusations. If you don't like your child's behavior, stress that it's the behavior that you'd like your child to change, and you have confidence that they can do it.
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